The following story is taken from my local news website, wafb.com:
It’s about a cat getting hit by a car, going lifeless long enough for the poor owner to consider it dead to the world, and having it buried…ONLY TO HAVE THE CAT COME BACK FROM THE GRAVE AND SHOW UP IN A NEIGHBOR’S YARD.
Now folks, I am a genuine animal lover. I have 2 cats, 2 dogs and even a fish. I love them like children….
If one of my cats gets hit by a car, not only dies and gets buried, but then shows up back at my house a week later; I cannot tell you that I necessarily want him back.
Dude, did you even WATCH this movie?! That cat came back too…and did bad things.
If you own a cat, you know they can be vindictive creatures. I really think God made them that way just to show mankind that we’re not the only species that walks the earth capable of seeking revenge. Just last week, I fell victim to such misfortune when I didn’t put out the cat food quickly enough for my cat Patches. To illustrate his disapproval of my slow reaction time, he took a shit behind my entertainment system stand…a very heavy stand which is extremely difficult to move. While I toiled away with that monstrosity, I heard the faint sound of a cackle in the background. It was my cat laughing at me.
Now, if a cat will shit in your personal space when you don’t do his bidding, imagine what a cat with the powers of the undead is capable of. I don’t want that in my house at all. How do you sleep at night knowing that this 4-legged demon knows you made no effort to save him and just opted for the shallow-grave approach?
You’ll have to excuse Fluffy, he’s been feeling a little under the weather since he DIED last week.
Folks, I keep my love of cats tempered with an air of suspicion just to keep myself and my family protected. If you are a cat owner then you can appreciate this approach. They can’t entirely be trusted. The loyal dog will mourn by your side should you pass away quietly in the night. The cat on the other hand will EAT YOUR FACE because you didn’t feed him before traveling to the afterlife. Ever read HP Lovecraft’s short story “The Cats of Ulthar”? It’s about an old couple that didn’t like cats. They killed ONE, and a bunch of his buddies got together and went straight up Sleepwalkers on them. Read this story and see if you let Socks sleep with you at night ever again. Cats plan. Cats plot. Cats revenge.
Now, getting back to the original point of this post…here is the cat in question.
You tried to kill me, but Satan sent be back to bring you along for the ride….
This cat is motivated. I’m going to post another warning to the owner. You need to put security cameras all over your house, give up midnight snacks when you can’t see him coming, and for heaven’s sake move away from that Native American burial ground.