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Broken Clouds, 78°F

9001 Orleans Dr, Baton Rouge, LA 70810, USA

Teaching him right.

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Clear Sky, 61°F

9001 Orleans Dr, Baton Rouge, LA 70810, USA

Much to do today. Outdoor chores. Think I’ll channel my inner handyman and get some things done. Sun is coming up and it’s going to be a warm day. One more cup of coffee and I’ll start earning my beer.

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Indigenous Creature… Borrowed Concept

The chupacabra lives; but by the time you get to the end of this movie, you really don’t care.

I’m currently running through Netflix movies in an attempt to catch some new scary stuff and recapture my love of horror. This looked interesting. It’s not a terrible movie, mind you; but the influences are so obvious, it gets boring after a while. Tourists. Jungle. Mysterious man eating monster. Yeah, never seen that before….

Honestly, I found the characters so irritating that by the time old chupacabra decides to start picking off folks for snooping around his private swimming hole, I really didn’t care if they died or not.

I did see a lot of The Descent in this movie, but The Descent takes its time, invests you in the characters, and builds on the panic and distrust. In Indigenous, everyone’s whiny and yells a lot. The deaths just cut down on the noise.

While “it” is scary looking, the movements, the behavior, all too familiar. It’s been done before. Indigenous doesn’t succeed in doing it any better. Although it’s kind of neat to see it occasionally attack in broad daylight, it’s not enough to save the movie.

I own that waterfall because I'm always thirsty...

I own that waterfall cause I’m always thirsty.

Okay, it’s not a BAD movie. It’s just an overused concept. If you’ve never seen the movies that it draws it’s influences from, you actually may enjoy it. I just feel like I’d seen it all done better than this. You make your own judgment on it. As for me, I’m even less scared of the chupacabra than before after watching it.

 
 

Smart Watch on a Budget

So I’m sitting here admiring my recently-purchased smart watch.

Wanna guess how much I paid for it?

$10. I’m quite proud of that. See, I got it on an app called Geek, which is notoriously famous for selling hilariously cheap things. I’ve always wanted one, but I’m too damn cheap to shell out three hundred bucks considering how hard I tend to be on watches.

It’s not a Samsung. It’s not any brand I’ve ever heard of. As a matter of fact, I can’t even pronounce the name, but it works and my wrist hasn’t turned green. Now, I am not wearing C-3P0 on my arm; but it certainly satisfies my desire for a smart watch. Quite frankly, I’m already fighting a social media addiction, so I don’t need any complicated mess on a watch as well. What it does do is the following:

  • I can answer calls from it. The speaker is pretty damn good.
  • Speaking of the speaker, it will connect to all media outlets as well. In other words, I can do Pandora or Google Play Music and my watch becomes my speaker.
  • It’s got a notification feature for when folks text me (although you can’t respond from the watch, which I don’t want to do anyway).
  • It’s got a quality of sleep feature, pedometer, and sedintary reminder. They’re neat little basic health monitor features.
  • The remote camera is neat too, but I’m not sure when or where I’ll ever use it.

(I took that picture with my watch, by the way. Never mind the grey nose hairs).

Of course, it’s got all the basic watch functions too. The best part is that for $10, when I break it, it won’t leave me cussing for the next 3 weeks. I suspect that the band is a cheap rubber material, so I’m not sure how long that will last, but it can be replaced if it ever degrades. The battery will last me about 3 days.

THREE DAYS.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU BOUGHT SOMETHING LIKE THIS WITH A 3 DAY BATTERY FOR ONLY $10?! You can’t beat that deal.

Anyway, this was a Christmas present to myself, and I’m solidly happy with it. Go check out Geek for yourself. Just remember that sometimes it takes a while to get your order since it’s probably coming from Kathmandu.

 
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Posted by on December 27, 2017 in And now for something different

 

Bright…an everyman’s review.

So, I watched Bright the other night.

If you haven’t already heard about it, it’s a new full length fantasy/buddy cop film starting Will Smith. While I’m not one to typically listen to or agree with movie reviews; this one piqued my interest because I wanted to see if it was as bad as the critics were saying. Personally, I think this is one of the few times that the critics were right.

Don’t get me wrong, the premise is really cool. One movie reviewer said to imagine that the LOTR story happened in our world, orcs (of course) lost and had to adapt to living with humans. Elves just became snobbish assholes. Aside from that (without giving away any plot spoilers), there’s your movie right there.

Will Smith on the other hand is… Will Smith. Take his character from the Bad Boys movies, make him older and tired. That’s all you get. As a matter of fact, because I’m a fan of the Bad Boys series, I even quoted him on some lines, verbatim. Not much effort on Mr. Smith’s part.

I had a difficult time deciding if the movie was trying to be serious or not, cause it switched moods way to often and too fast. The racial parallels were overly obvious to the point of where it felt preachy. At one point I felt like I was watching the old Robert Duvall movie, Colors.

The movie could have been awesome. It ABSOLUTELY had potential; but it seems to fight between wanting to be a true fantasy or an awkward buddy cop movie. Honestly, I haven’t seen such a mismatched pair since I saw Cop Out, and that movie was horrid (by the way, Bruce Willis holds the record for movies that I just simply couldn’t finish).

Whose idea was this hot mess, anyway?!

And Netflix is already making a sequel.

On a scale of USA Network to “I’d pay money to see this in the theatre”, I’ll give this a “it better come Network television and I’m sick at home with nothing to do”.

Make your own judgement though. Me? I didn’t like it.

 
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Posted by on December 26, 2017 in And now for something different

 

First Christmas….

This is the first Christmas in years that I’ll be able to spend undisturbed by work. I’ll have time off with my family. We’ll be able to celebrate properly without on call work or retail hours interfering.

That’s going to be nice.

As a matter of fact, I’m probably going to spend this weekend doing a lot of decorating and shopping. Being in the Christmas spirit is long overdue.

When the season comes around, the wife and I tend to get each other gifts all month long and by Christmas Day, it’s all about the kids. We’re doing that again this year, but I’ve still got a few surprises for her. I’m also carefully planning this year’s Christmas dinner. I may go non traditional for 2017

What are your Personal Christmas traditions?

 
 

Why I Brought Back Wayne

This week I started a new job.

For the past year now, I’d been working at a grocery store in pursuit of a simpler life that still allowed me to provide for my family. It seemed to be a solid strategy at the time; so I took the plunge and left office life. When I went to work at the store, a mistake was made on my nametag, and they used my first instead of my middle name.

I chose to run with it. I mean, heck, I hadn’t gone by “Otha” since I was 13. What could it hurt? It’s not a huge deal, and there’s no way my name will get confused with anyone else’s.

Well, my plan wound up sucking ass.

As I’ve lamented on other social media accounts, working at the grocery store ultimately sucked. Teenage attitudes, poor management, unforgiving hours, low pay. I was about to put my family in the poor house again. So, I motivated myself to go out job hunting one last time, and hit the jackpot with the State.

When it came time to give my name, I was now faced with a decision. Do I keep Otha or do I go back to Wayne? Otha is, of course, my given first name. I chose to go by Wayne when I was 14 years old because I get the desire to be my own person, not just the embodiment of my father’s son. Going back to Otha wasn’t difficult at all. I mean at 44, names really don’t matter as much.

But….

Wayne is who I’d spent 30 years growing into being. Call me superstitious if you will, but I achieved my greatest successes under that particular moniker. The name “Otha” has never held the fondest memories for me, and quite frankly, reclaiming it for a year helped me remember that while “Otha” is my name, “Wayne” is who I am. I’ve decided that I want to reclaim that.

Don’t get me wrong, if you call me Otha, I’m still going to answer to it; but my name is Wayne. Chapter “Otha” has once again been closed. It’s time to go back to the “Book of Wayne”.

 
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Posted by on September 23, 2017 in And now for something different