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First Christmas….

This is the first Christmas in years that I’ll be able to spend undisturbed by work. I’ll have time off with my family. We’ll be able to celebrate properly without on call work or retail hours interfering.

That’s going to be nice.

As a matter of fact, I’m probably going to spend this weekend doing a lot of decorating and shopping. Being in the Christmas spirit is long overdue.

When the season comes around, the wife and I tend to get each other gifts all month long and by Christmas Day, it’s all about the kids. We’re doing that again this year, but I’ve still got a few surprises for her. I’m also carefully planning this year’s Christmas dinner. I may go non traditional for 2017

What are your Personal Christmas traditions?

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Why I Brought Back Wayne

This week I started a new job.

For the past year now, I’d been working at a grocery store in pursuit of a simpler life that still allowed me to provide for my family. It seemed to be a solid strategy at the time; so I took the plunge and left office life. When I went to work at the store, a mistake was made on my nametag, and they used my first instead of my middle name.

I chose to run with it. I mean, heck, I hadn’t gone by “Otha” since I was 13. What could it hurt? It’s not a huge deal, and there’s no way my name will get confused with anyone else’s.

Well, my plan wound up sucking ass.

As I’ve lamented on other social media accounts, working at the grocery store ultimately sucked. Teenage attitudes, poor management, unforgiving hours, low pay. I was about to put my family in the poor house again. So, I motivated myself to go out job hunting one last time, and hit the jackpot with the State.

When it came time to give my name, I was now faced with a decision. Do I keep Otha or do I go back to Wayne? Otha is, of course, my given first name. I chose to go by Wayne when I was 14 years old because I get the desire to be my own person, not just the embodiment of my father’s son. Going back to Otha wasn’t difficult at all. I mean at 44, names really don’t matter as much.

But….

Wayne is who I’d spent 30 years growing into being. Call me superstitious if you will, but I achieved my greatest successes under that particular moniker. The name “Otha” has never held the fondest memories for me, and quite frankly, reclaiming it for a year helped me remember that while “Otha” is my name, “Wayne” is who I am. I’ve decided that I want to reclaim that.

Don’t get me wrong, if you call me Otha, I’m still going to answer to it; but my name is Wayne. Chapter “Otha” has once again been closed. It’s time to go back to the “Book of Wayne”.

 
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Posted by on September 23, 2017 in And now for something different

 

To be Continued…

Got a lot to catch up on here. Been on Tumblr too much to. I’ll take some time out this evening to catch y’all up. In the meantime, here’s me.

 
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Posted by on September 21, 2017 in And now for something different

 

Comfortably Short

I’m so short that my kids can put things out of my reach.

I’m so short that my cats try to pet ME.

I’m so short that I look for clothing sales at Gap Kids.

I’m so short that when the sun rises, I’m the last one to see it.

I’m so short that I can actually drive by looking through the steering wheel instead of over it….while sitting straight up.

I’m so short that when I take my kids to the fair, I get funny looks from the attendants when I walk past the “you must be this tall to ride” signs. 

I’m so short that I have to keep a step stool in almost every room of my house. 

I’m so short that I don’t have to worry about age induced back problems because I have to look up at EVERYONE. 

Back in middle and grade school, I got called every name you can think of because of my height. I’ve heard so many short jokes in my lifetime that I don’t take offense to them at all. As a matter of fact, I’m usually the first person to crack one. I embraced who I am a long time ago. My mother is 4’11”. My late father was 5’10”. I’m nestled right between them. 

Tell all the short jokes you want. I’ll be the first one to laugh. That’s called being okay with myself. 

 

Thinner

No, I’m not cursed, nor am I sick.

I have not been touched by a gypsy of ill repute.

You see, since transitioning from office life to working in a grocery store (which is considerably more physical), I’ve managed to lose all the weight I gained from sitting at a desk all day. In total, we’re talking about 30 pounds.

Keep in mind folks, I’m an only child, and while I’m well into my 40’s, my mother still tries to dress me. My recent weight loss has left her perplexed because she can no longer find outfits that fit me well.

I had to wear this exact same outfit last Easter because Mom bought it and she wanted to see me in one of her nice outfits that she’d purchased for me.

Unfortunately, my mother, big as her heart is, does not share my taste in clothing. I’m pretty sure that her sense of fashion doesn’t reach past 1985, and it pretty much peaked at 1977. Still, the dutiful son, I’ll make myself wear one of the outfits she got for me to show appreciation for her efforts. 

Of course, when I do this, my wife refuses to be seen with me and it’s usually a solo act.

This is me leaving church in a suit my mother got for me. I didn’t see my wife for a week.

The recent weight loss has me back down to my high school weight, which puts me at a size 29 waist, and my mom​ cannot find outfits that I can wear (in public). She was lamenting this to me yesterday and commented that I needed to put the weight back on so she would have better clothing options for me.
I went right to the store and bought some Slim Fast.

 
 

Whippersnappers!!!

I just read that kids and teens are abandoning Tumblr (where I keep my other blog) for simpler social media outlets like Snapchat and Instagram.

For heaven’s sake, I just figured out Tumblr. 

Granted, it’s more picture driven and random (as opposed to cohesive thoughts here on WordPress), but it serves a purpose for me. I’ve even got an unfinished short story sitting in limbo there.

The simplification of communication with today’s youth continues….

 
 

All the Cheese!

So, this is like my life now. I was promoted again to run the cold cuts and specialty cheeses department at my grocery store. I’ve been ordered to learn all about the cheese.

I’m gonna get fat.